Tag Archives: personal growth

Faith and Your Triumphant Nature

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by Gregory Toole

Faith is not blind, nor is it merely hoping things will work out. True faith involves knowing. What we know is that there is a power within us and all around us that is for us. It is really knowing that life itself is for us. If we can let go of our need to control and our need for specific outcomes, then let go of our opinions and judgments, we find that all things truly are working together for good.

Yes, there are plenty of things that show up in all of our lives that look anything but good, some even appearing horrendous. Yet, if we take a larger view of life, of its eternal and infinite nature, we can actually feel, see, and know the inherent goodness of all that is unfolding.

A favorite story of mine in the Christian Bible is that of Joseph whose brothers sell him into slavery. Joseph recognized that no one could interfere with his divine destiny and as he rose to the highest levels of influence and power in Egypt, he eventually said to his brothers, “you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”

If we can know with the Buddhists that everything can be used toward our enlightenment, then we can know that nothing comes into our lives except for the reason of our soul’s unfoldment on its eternal journey. If we can let go of any sense of victimization or righteousness about the various situations that we have experienced in life, we have the opportunity to see a bigger picture of what Life if unfolding for us.

I am reminded of the scene in the 1970s movie “Jaws” where two characters compare scars. If we get into this type of comparison we will always find someone with a life story similar or more difficult than ours who has used their experiences toward good.

I always encourage people to tell their story from a place of love, triumph, and power. Everyone has overcome much to be where they are today. Mistakes have been made along the way and we have fallen short more than once, and yet we are still here, still showing up, and still aspiring to something greater. And we’ve all had our successes and high moments along the way.

Claim victory today. It is the divine truth of your being, and it is more real than any story of victimhood or lowliness. Claim your divine destiny of eternally unfolding into the greater and greater. It is yours and I stand with you in the powerful unfolding of your life.

Lasting Relationships – Part Two: Is It Over or Time to Grow?

by Gregory Toole

In last week’s blog, I wrote, “The requirement of growth comes from the very nature of relationship. Relationship shines the light on all the dark places of fear, insecurity, unworthiness, and those places we’d just rather not go at all…Then, relationship, by its very nature takes us right to the doorstep of those places.”

As I finished writing that blog, I imagined someone asking the question, “How do I know if I need to grow, or if the relationship is really over?” The question became the inspiration for this week’s blog.

The answer to this question is not an easy one, and surely does not break into any rote formula. However, it is a great question that we can take into our heart and into our contemplation.

When is a relationship over? Well, the simple answer is that it’s over when we say it’s over, and not a minute sooner. We ultimately determine for ourselves if the relationship continues to serve us. Ultimately, it is about serving our soul’s path.

One way to see if the relationship serves our soul’s path is to let go of our human will and surrender to our soul’s highest calling. We could use this affirmation: “I am willing to stay, if that is for the highest, and I am willing to go, if that is for the highest.” To surrender it to our soul’s highest calling is to let go of all the worldly reasons for staying or going such as:

  • I’m really comfortable in this relationship.
  • It would be too hard to find someone else.
  • We’ve been together so long.
  • I don’t know how it will affect my financial situation.

The list could go on and on, and the main point is to clear the way for us to hear what the intuition of our heart wants to whisper to us.

Here are examples of how a relationship that serves our soul’s highest calling might feel:

  • I feel the relationship is contributing to my growth.
  • I feel valued by my partner.
  • I feel really seen by my partner in a way that expands me.
  • I feel the relationship calls me to be my best.
  • My main reasons for being in the relationship feel clean, healthy, and affirming of what’s important to me.

When the relationship is not serving our soul’s highest calling, the growth we are called to involves letting go – releasing the current form of the relationship. When the relationship is serving our soul’s highest calling, the challenges that come forth are the opportunities for growth.

May all of your relationships call you into the highest expression of your soul.

Namasté,
Gregory

Lasting Relationships – Part One: The Willingness to Grow

by Gregory Toole

Lasting relationships, particularly those of the romantic type, seem quite elusive for many. Even short-term relationships may be elusive for many. Relationships, if they are to be truly meaningful, require a degree of vulnerability, risk, and growth.

Being hurt in a former relationship can greatly diminish our possibilities for future relationships, depending on what we internalize from the previous experience. For example, in my early thirties I began to wonder why it had been about ten years since I had been in a meaningful relationship. As I peeled back the proverbial layers of the onion, looking deeply into what was the underlying cause, I remembered an experience I had ten years before, while I was in college. I had fallen in love and found myself heartbroken when the relationship ended. The pain seemed too great to bear at the time, and I vowed never to be hurt like that again. What I really had set in motion, unbeknownst to me, was to never get into a meaningful relationship again.

Once I saw this clearly in my early thirties, I realized I was stronger than I had been in my twenties, and the decision I made in my twenties to protect myself no longer served me. As I began to allow myself to be open and vulnerable again, willing to fall in love, accepting there was a risk I could get hurt emotionally, I opened the possibility for meaningful relationship, which occurred for me.

Then I learned there is something more than just being vulnerable and willing to take a risk. Once the fear of being hurt was gone, there was awareness that in order to move forward, to have the relationship last, one must be willing to grow. While one could probably maintain a fairly shallow relationship without being required to grow very much, anything meaningful would require growth every step of the way.

The requirement of growth comes from the very nature of relationship. Relationship shines the light on all the dark places of fear, insecurity, unworthiness, and those places we’d just rather not go at all. The latter are those places within us that we’ve built a wall around, or more like a fortress, for the very purpose of making sure no one or nothing would take us there. Then, relationship, by its very nature takes us right to the doorstep of that place and says, “This is the doorway to that meaningful relationship you want.” At this moment we might be tempted to begin bargaining, saying, “No, I’m willing to go anywhere but there. I’ll do anything else, but not that.”

All of this bargaining is to no avail because love is designed to transform us; to bring those dark places into the light and free us from the fortress we have built that ultimately has limited us. Love is here to tell us we are bigger than our fears, insecurities, and beliefs of unworthiness. Love is here to invite us into that greater experience of life that is beyond even our own imagination.

If we are willing to breathe into our deepest shadows, face them with the love of a partner, and bravely walk through them, we invite the deep healing and freedom that love offers us. Then, not only does our relationship last, it also frees us to experience the fullest possibility for our lives.

See next week’s blog for Part Two:

            Lasting Relationships – Part Two: Is It Over or Time to Grow?

Namasté,
Gregory

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