Ten Simple Ways to Grow from Your Relationships

Relationships can be a great place to grow and expand, if we allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable to our own growing edges. Here are ten simple guidelines for being in conscious relationship with yourself and others.

1. When you feel angry, say what it is in you that made you angry, when the other person did what they did.
2. When you feel joy, say what is in you that resonates with joy when the other person did what they did.
3. When you have a need or desire, communicate it as a request, not a demand (a request means it’s okay for the other person to say “yes” or “no”).
4. When you’re not sure what the other person wants or is trying to communicate, ask for clarification (don’t make assumptions).
5. When communicating with others, focus more on connection than content (more on what you feel and experience together, rather than the specific topic of discussion).
6. When your feelings arise, pay attention to what sensations you feel in your body, where you feel them, and what emotions are connected to them (this increases your self-awareness).
7. When conflict occurs, pay more attention to what you’re feeling than what you’re thinking (chances are you are triggered based on something unhealed from your past).
8. When you get caught in a debate about who is right and who is wrong, pause, reestablish your heart-to-heart connection, and share what you are feeling (chances are you’re not talking about what’s really going on).
9. When feeling good starts to feel overwhelming, take some space, re-group, and then come back for more good feelings.
10. When you keep feeling like a relationship is not good for you, trust that feeling.

Check out Gregory’s upcoming Zoom online class entitled “Relationship as Spiritual Practice.“