Can We All Win?

Audio Version

We live in a world where there appears to be much division and vying to be the winner, and not the loser.

These struggles are rooted in win-lose paradigms that many take for granted, or see as the only possibility – either I get what I want or you get what you want. In this paradigm, the challenge is how to be the winner and not the loser.

What if everyone could win? Is it possible to have a win-win paradigm?

I’d like to suggest that, yes, win-win is a real possibility. In a win-win paradigm, the challenge becomes a creativity dilemma, rather than one of how to beat the so-called opponent. In win-win, there is no opponent. Instead, we are sitting at the table together, engaging our creativity to solve the same problem.

The problem we are solving in win-win is how to find a solution that includes what is most important to you and what is most important to me.

For win-win to be achieved, each party must be willing to let go of pre-conceived outcomes and be open to the possibility of an outcome that meets their needs, but may look very different from the solution they previously conceived.

My motto regarding achieving win-win is “No one has to lose, but everyone has to change.” Perhaps the first shift in embracing the win-win paradigm is letting go of the idea that change equates to loss.

There is an element of loss associated with change, but what we are losing is simply a limited way of looking at the situation. What we are gaining is an expanded view.

Five years ago, in my role as a Director at Centers for Spiritual Living, a global spiritual organization, I was honored to play an integral part in reuniting two organizations that had split more than 50 years prior. I was assigned the task of finding a way to bridge major differences in educational philosophy between the two separate organizations. Those differences were said to be the one factor that might render the reunification impossible.

In bringing the parties together regularly over a period of many months, we began looking at our values and to detach from specific ways of doing things, instead focusing on how we might find new ways of doing things that honored the values of each organization, which became known as “The Third Way.” The effort was a success and today Centers for Spiritual Living is in the rare position of having reunited its denomination after more than 50 years of separation.

The key factor in the success of this endeavor was a strong motivation to find win-win. We were convinced we could accomplish more united than if we were divided. This has proved to be true.

I truly believe win-win is always possible once we no longer need to win over someone else. This creativity problem mentioned earlier may not be easy to overcome, but what we know is there is no limit to our creativity. Once the situation is framed as a creativity challenge, we are already on our way to finding a win-win solution.

The question becomes, are we willing for everyone to win, or have we become so enamored with the win-lose model that our need to win blinds us to a greater possibility?

The invitation today is to engage your creativity in some situation, no matter how small, to bring about a greater outcome for all concerned. You can do it! And the possibilities you are opening for our world are enormous. Thank you for your enlightened consciousness.

Enjoy the journey.