Creating Win-Win Relationships

A live online class (via Zoom)


Four Tuesdays,
starting November 27, 2018

Based on Gregory Toole’s work and practice with a multitude of authentic-relating and conscious-communication tools, this class integrates many different models and practices into a set of principles and tools that allow you to be you, while at the same time up-leveling your communication and relating skills. Rather than seeking to talk a certain way, we learn to transform who we are by releasing unhealed parts of ourselves that block healthy, effective communication. In other words, we become more conscious and enlightened in our relationships both at home and at work. We become more of who we truly are, unapologetic and real.

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We Are Somseva – and you are too!

Somseva: Seeing Conflict as a Creativity Challenge

As human beings, our needs and our values are very similar. We are just trying to get them met in different ways. And that’s what we fight over. Instead of seeing how our disparate perspectives could be part of the solution. Is there a way to incorporate a third way? How can we find common values?

Somseva teaches conflict transformation. Somseva sees conflict as a creativity challenge. Conflict transformation takes conflict resolution a step further.

Conflict resolution looks to solve the problem. In conflict transformation, we don’t view the conflict as a problem. We view the conflict as an opportunity to grow the relationship. How do we begin to see our interests as intertwined, not separate?

We say: “I really want to see the world through your eyes.” We ask: “What is this conflict calling us to in terms of our individual growth and in terms of the relationship with the other party? What got us here? What in our relationship are we being called to shift?”

What if we could deeply hear each other and see that we each have a piece of the solution to the problem? This turns the conflict into a creativity challenge. It is no longer an argument. It isn’t easy, but it offers a new perspective. How do we bring our needs to the forefront and find the solution? This makes the problem manageable. There is no limit to our creativity.

Conflict resolution is a compromise—the problem may be solved, but it is not fully satisfying to each side. Conflict transformation brings all involved to a higher level where our relationship is improved, and we have come to a solution that makes us stronger afterward.

“No one has to lose. But everyone has to change.”

Somseva models and teaches how to use our own transformation to transform the planet. When we become the embodiment of peace, joy, love and compassion, the planet reflects that, and we get to bring that out into the world.

About Rev. Gregory Toole

 Rev. Gregory Toole is the spiritual director of Somseva, a “Centers for Spiritual Living “ministry bringing New Thought spiritual principles into the realm of conscious communication and conscious relationships. Somseva supports people in seeing their oneness and connectedness with all other people and life. Through this practical, spiritually grounded approach, we are providing an opening for people to connect and relate across ethnic, cultural, political, and other forms of difference and diversity. We are bringing the principle of ‘unity in multiplicity’ into practical application. 

Gregory played a key role in the reuniting of two spiritual organizations that represented a denomination that split more than 50 years prior. He has helped many communities that were divided to hear each other and find common ground. He has counseled individuals and couples who were struggling in their relationships.

Gregory believes our very survival as a human species, or at least our ability to live at peace with one another, depends on us gaining greater mastery of this skill/state of being, individually and collectively.

He has had to do a ton of deep inner work to be cognizant of his own triggers, and to recognize when his triggers might be blocking him. As the facilitator of great change, he has had to become a great listener, to empathize, and to speak powerfully form the heart.

Gregory studied Nonviolent Communication directly with Marshall Rosenberg. He has taken communication skills training from many experts, including from MIT. He has studied and practiced Transparent Communication, developed by Thomas Huebl. He has learned and practiced Circling at the Integral Center in Boulder, CO.

Who are the members of Somseva?

Our members are part of a community defined by shared values, rather than a demographic profile. They may call themselves “spiritual but not religious.” Their spiritual community is likely a Center for Spiritual Living, a Unity church, a Unitarian Universalist church, Buddhist sangha, a yoga community, or another progressive spiritual philosophy.

How does Somseva benefit its members?

Our work is rooted in the spiritual tools of affirmative prayer, meditation, and life visioning.

Communicating Across the Divide

The Somseva signature class for those who want to break through the barriers that seem to separate us

How does a vegan talk to a non-vegan? A Democrat to a Republican? How does a spiritual person have meaningful dialog with a religious person? How do we engage with our family and friends who see the world differently than we do?

Yes, these divides exist, but do they need to keep us separate, or are there ways to begin hearing each other? What if each perspective is part of the wholeness that can bond us to expand possibilities for all? What if there is a way to powerfully communicate your truth while also compassionately listening to those across the divide?

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Listen to an Interview with Somseva Spiritual Director, Rev. Gregory Toole

Seeing Conflict as a Creativity Challenge

October 26, 2017